Week 3: Comment to Tracy #2

Image from Tracy's blog post.

Tracy's Post:

“Have the Best Sex Ever”

This story has hit too close to my life for comfort. I could be June, although, I would never go back to my narcissistic ex-husband to play that game. However, after almost four years of divorce, I do feel it is time to ask myself “What of my calculating self would have to change for me to be completely fulfilled?" All of the memories of the anger and resentment of the past sneak up on me whenever I am forced to be in the near vicinity of my kid’s father for their sakes. He still finds ways to disappoint and hurt my oldest by the things he says and does; and, at times, the things he doesn’t say and do. I wonder if I will ever be able to be in the same room with him without the flooding of the horrific emotional memories overwhelming me every time. Reading this story helped me to see how I could possibly turn it around and take ownership of the reaction I allowed his presence to have over me. I could never change him no matter how hard I tried, and my kids and I are much better off now for walking away. If I am able to recognize my calculating self in this situation, I might be able to free myself from the emotional embattlement I subject myself to. It will make me a happier and more fulfilled parent of my three great kids.

My comment to Tracy:

I’m glad that you have made this realization. I also related to June and having the courage to change your mentality and accept someone else for who they are, is difficult. Like Luz said, change has to come from the interior and it takes a lot of effort, but when you are able to free yourself from that embattlement, you’ll be a more fulfilled person. I always try to remind myself that being angry with others or myself is a waste of time. Further, our time here is limited and we have to make the best of it while we’re here. Thank you for sharing your story and I wish you the best!